Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Pursuit of Happyness (For Women)

I really ought to get paid...a lot for saying this because it's so very true.
I'm about to drop a little bit of Wisdom of Biblical proportions and i really want you to listen and take this with all the seriousness it deserves.

Stop rolling your big eyeballs and listen up. Properly. So you are a single girl and you need to get married? Tall, dark, handsome, good Job,goes to church regularly because he really ,likes God not just because there's no NEPA Sunday Mornings,a couple Cars, Driver takes the kids to school, summer holidays...the whole enchilada.
I'm here to give you the hook up on how to get the Man of your dreams and it's quite easy.

Step one: Get the fcuk out of the house. Go Socialize.Go out and have a drink, Bachelor's eve, Champions league viewing centre... wherever you can meet the male species. Even Church. If your Church is filled with cheap head scarf wearing long faced women with no jewelery and a face like Cactus's Lemonade.And broke Bible-under-the -armpit losers, Change Church quick. Go worship where the hot boys go. If you don't know please ask somebody who knows.It's not about how hard you pray. Yes i said it. abi you wan stone me? Shio!

Step Two: Now this is where I'm going to and this is bloody important. Fortune favours the bold. STEP UP!!!!!
You see a guy you like and he fits the bill, physically, Take a deep breath and walk up to him.
You are in the middle of a crowded room, a party, conference, whatever. Walk up to the man put on that innocent smile and say "Hi". At this point it doesnt matter what else you say. "You've got a nice watch and i'm thinking of buying one as a present for my Dad" blah blah blah. Think of any Mumu excuse to open your mouth. Just start the bloody conversation.

Guess what you've just done? You've done what 90% of those other Heiffers in the room will not dare even contemplate. Congrats. You have just stacked the odds overwhelmingly in your favor. You are in the Select 10%.Them Heiffers ain't got nothing on you.

Secondly, you have done what most shy guys have fantasized about a couple billion times. A hot intelligent chick walking up to say hi. The chances of getting rejected
are zero to nil. If he does he's a Donut with a hole anyway and not worth a monkeys fart.

So, there you have it. 100% Success or your money back. Now get off the damned computer and go do it. NOW!!!.


Anonymous said...

Comot for there.
If it works, why has it not worked on you?
I know three babes that practiced those steps on you, yet.............

Anonymous said...

lmao! is this funny or wat? can i paste this somewhere?