Thursday, July 14, 2011

Wole Soyinka goes poignant on Lagos

It must have sounded like an Old Man's musing. Soyinka Sits a beauty queen on his laps,literally and spins her yarns of the good old Lagos

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Andy Gray

Okay, so Sky Sports suck for Firing Andy Gray. Andy no doubts is an Asshole but he's a particularly obnoxious yet endearing sort of Asshole at least to me. He represents realness in a world full of BS.

It was kina low firing a top pundit over some off the cuff banter about some woman Linesman but the dude and (Richard Keys)thought they were off air. Is there a Man her who wouldn't say some stoopid shh about some woman running...sorry sashaying up and down the touchline waving a flag? especially if you are with a few of your mates? Show of hands please.

I didn't think she'd make a good assistant referee either (I wonder why they had to change their names from "Linesman" just to accommodate the damned feminists)
Anywhoo, Andy's gone they'll probably axe his FIFA EA Sport gig too I'll miss that even though he talks a lot of smack, but hey life goes on.
Take a bow Son and i mean that. Take a bow.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

When the Oil stops to flow

What happens when the Oil runs dry, or a sustainable, cheaper, cleaner alternative shows up?
Too late to rely on taxes because all the Industries have moved shop elsewhere since there was no Power.Meannwhile we flare Gas round the clock cause we have no Idea what to do with it.

No Infrastructure, Kleptocracy on a different level, citizens very poorly educated, and no idea how to generate revenue since the oil’s dried up.
No transparency, so no foreign Investments coming in. and Jack all has been done for the past 50 years. Just a bunch of over bloated Illiterate egos praying in Church for Blessings whilst the Pastors live smoothly in relative Jungle bliss in their Bentleys and Private Jets.

It’s happened before in Bahrain, their Oil ran out, but they chose to turn their country around and today it’s a Financial hotspot.

Indonesia kicked out a Corrupt Leader and they decided as a country to turn their fortunes around. Hungary, Albania they get honorable mention too.

Most people don’t know the danger ahead. What’s the hope for the future when your kids get these sort of half baked education and kids all over the world are benefiting from an increase in the level and quality of education. Better believe it your kids will have to compete with other employees all over the world. We’ve moved into an age of out-sourcing and off shoring. The competition is going to get really tough. Heck it’s tough enough as we speak. The Asians are already doing things better for a fraction of the price and they are in a continuous state of self and collective improvement.
Congratulations Nigeria at 50.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

World Cup 2010

My wish list.
Dear God, First things first can i have my own personal World Cup without the damned Vuvuzela? How can you not go totally bonkers with thhat giant drone in your ears???

Also God, If Nigeria will not get to the quarter Finals please let the team crash out quickly at the group stage.

Thirdly,Please please, Let England get to the Finals. A win will be nice but at least a place in the Finals will do. And Lord please let Rooney behave, and no red cards and no Gazza type drama.

Over and Out . Cant wait.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Pursuit of Happyness (For Women)

I really ought to get paid...a lot for saying this because it's so very true.
I'm about to drop a little bit of Wisdom of Biblical proportions and i really want you to listen and take this with all the seriousness it deserves.

Stop rolling your big eyeballs and listen up. Properly. So you are a single girl and you need to get married? Tall, dark, handsome, good Job,goes to church regularly because he really ,likes God not just because there's no NEPA Sunday Mornings,a couple Cars, Driver takes the kids to school, summer holidays...the whole enchilada.
I'm here to give you the hook up on how to get the Man of your dreams and it's quite easy.

Step one: Get the fcuk out of the house. Go Socialize.Go out and have a drink, Bachelor's eve, Champions league viewing centre... wherever you can meet the male species. Even Church. If your Church is filled with cheap head scarf wearing long faced women with no jewelery and a face like Cactus's Lemonade.And broke Bible-under-the -armpit losers, Change Church quick. Go worship where the hot boys go. If you don't know please ask somebody who knows.It's not about how hard you pray. Yes i said it. abi you wan stone me? Shio!

Step Two: Now this is where I'm going to and this is bloody important. Fortune favours the bold. STEP UP!!!!!
You see a guy you like and he fits the bill, physically, Take a deep breath and walk up to him.
You are in the middle of a crowded room, a party, conference, whatever. Walk up to the man put on that innocent smile and say "Hi". At this point it doesnt matter what else you say. "You've got a nice watch and i'm thinking of buying one as a present for my Dad" blah blah blah. Think of any Mumu excuse to open your mouth. Just start the bloody conversation.

Guess what you've just done? You've done what 90% of those other Heiffers in the room will not dare even contemplate. Congrats. You have just stacked the odds overwhelmingly in your favor. You are in the Select 10%.Them Heiffers ain't got nothing on you.

Secondly, you have done what most shy guys have fantasized about a couple billion times. A hot intelligent chick walking up to say hi. The chances of getting rejected
are zero to nil. If he does he's a Donut with a hole anyway and not worth a monkeys fart.

So, there you have it. 100% Success or your money back. Now get off the damned computer and go do it. NOW!!!.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Happy New Year Ya'll.
Yup it's my first post this year. What you want to do sue me? Shio!
If the thing pepper you catch me on Facebook.

If i ain't your friend on FB quick tip ladies...those pix with the titties pushed out don't work no more. Ya'll gotta switch your game. Hair done right, make up game tight, and please wear a smile. and did i say no titties out? Lol Hehehe.

Weekdays: Just up on my hustle and grind. Weekends: Dodging raindrops, Lounging on the Deck chairs at the Rehab Poolside, Sunshades on, weather hot, drinks cold, very long things, very short Bikinis, red light flashing on the little Bold 2, I got people watching people so i don't go broke.

Who got next? Te toca a ti.

What's up with ya'll how you living? Holla at your Boy. Hasta luego.

Friday, September 18, 2009

And in the news today...

3 Undergraduates of the University of Abuja got arrested for attempted Kidnapping of 2 Federal Ministers. Prince Adetokunbo Kayode and Dr.Sam Egwu. (What's up with all these guys and Titles sef?)
Ransom Money: 300 Million Naira.
and err... a signed promise by the Federal Government to end the ASUU strike.

The Inspector General of Police says he's not aware Mallam Nuhu Ribadu was in Nigeria for Late Gani Fawehinmi's Funeral.
He's asking the good citizens of Nigeria to send him pictures of Ribadu in Nigeria. Then he'll believe.
Apparently the Chief Security officer of the country does not read the papers, or pics in the Newspapers were photoshopped. lol.
I'm not even going to say nothing about this one. I love crisp, fresh linen Sheets on my bed, Air-conditioning, Play station 3, Blueberry Cheesecakes.... none of these can be gotten from a Nigerian Prison. Nuff said.

There's Bank holiday on Monday and Tuesday. Yay!!!!! For the first time, I wanna hug every Muslim in sight.
That's one helluva long ass weekend man.

The US Govt has thrown out the appointment of the Nigerian ambassador Tunde Adeniran.
Looks like he's got a naughty son who can't seem to stay out of trouble.
The Nigerian government are busy begging the Yanks to re-consider. Shebi na the pickin cause wahala not Baba 'Damola! It's just small Ogbanje that is worrying the boy now! Haba! You sef no get pickin?
Adedamola Adeniran is facing charges for multiple Gang rape, and has a previous criminal record for Car theft and Credit card Identity theft.

Now my personal favorite news of the day. Wait for this, this takes the biscuit
2 Men, Okechukwu Kenneth Enyinnaya and Samson Nwachukwu sat down under the Mango tree in front of Okechukwu’s house one lazy Sunday Afternoon and
Dreamed up their own version of the classic Kidnap extortion plan.
Hey everyone else is doing it right? So why can’t we?
So they got the number of a Spaghetti eating Italian expat dude living in Abuja, loaded up 500 naira worth of Glo Airtime Credits from the Mallam next door on credit..pun Intended, and then rang up Luigi. Listen up mate, We’re Assasins. Pay 1.2 Million Naira or we’ll come turn off your bloody lights mate!
Luigi says ok give me your account number and I’ll wire the money into it.
Dumb and Dumber did just that. Lol. They texted him their account details and strolled off to the Closest Branch to their Mango tree hang out to pick up the cash.
Luigi is back home eating Spaghetti and having a laugh with Mario.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum just broke the Naija record for daftest crime ever.
And their sorry butts are in Jail. Stupid fucks.