This is not the News

Okay so Cecilia got nabbed trying to escape in Broda Jimoh's "second hand" Private Jet. She almost made it but the bloody plane made more noise than a Molue.
EFCC heard the noise right from their office, got their and promptly arrested her plumpness.
Jimoh has since sent the Plane to the U.K for a tune up.
Moral of the story. Don't buy second hand Jets. If you have to buy a second hand Jet, get professionals to service it.
If you need to do a quick getaway, make sure your getaway vehicle is not a used Jet belonging to Uncle Jimoh, and serviced by the same guys that change the Tyre on his Car Morufu the Mechanic and his kid brother Jellili.
Also learn from the Pros who have done this successfully. Wole Soyinka only needed a NY Yankees hat, Sunglasses and a bit of Swagger to stroll across Seme Border.
Alams was a bit more erm... imaginative. Cross dressing and all that. Freaky sonofa. lol.

Erastus isn't exactly sipping Tetleys at his London Apartment. Interpol and all that. I hear Caves are at a premium in some certain countries. I'm not saying anything tho'.

This morning, i had a brain wave. I realized how far wrong the Bloody Americans were. The solution to the Credit Crunch is a very simple one.
See, the Nigerian Central Bank bailed out 5 banks by doing something simply ingenious. They printed out 420 Billion Naira in Mint 1,000 notes, Stuffed the cash in duffel Bags, and handed it to the Banks like Christmas packages.
See? Simple solutions for difficult problems. Banks need bail out money, Nigerian Government Prints bail out money. End of Discussion. i mean, Even Idi Amin could do it. So i don't understand why the Yanks don't get it? lol.
At this rate Naija will take over the world. My mate says Nepa just might be able to provide electric power for the Americans. (Anything is possible. You just believe)