4:07pm

What are the odds of getting knocked down by a car 3 times on the same day?
I'm calling this Onigbese guy wey they owe me money. He says he's in the Hospital and Moto jam am for the 3rd time today. Which kain Mumu excuse be that?
If i can't get my Money can i at least run you over the fourth time? Were oshi.

I remember the day i almost got run over. I had dashed down to the Neighborhood Drug store to get something. Why you dey ask me what did i buy? Wetin concern you?.
Anyway sha, there was a long ass queue and this guy in front of me in very starched blue brocade, and a loud gold wrist-watch, had his Daughter maybe about 4 years old on his shoulders. Me i was thinking to myself like "How does it feel to be carried by such a short Daddy?"
As in the Guy no go fit pass 5"3 max.
I was about hoping that the girl mama go tall small at least to give the girl some hope. That's how the girl started making funny faces at me o.
Before nko? Of course i stuck my tongue out too, and did Elephant ears for the girl. This small girl no sabi me sef. Ask about me from your Mummy i probably beat her at making silly faces 25 years ago and i didn't just stop there. I must have at the least pulled her hair at the playground, played Doctors and Nurses *wink*, ate her Lunch and did stuff i cant tell you about with Pencil Sharpeners that had mirrors. Ehen, No try me o.
So sha the girl finally gave up and turned her face after realizing that this grown ass man na Agbaya.
A minute later omo, that's how the little girl started crying o. Like in proper hysterics.
Naturally i got curious as in wetin go make this girl scream like this. Small girl wey i do scary face for wey no even send at all.
Ashe, na the Chick for the Check out counter they fear the baby. I come move forward say what's going on here? I really couldn't see what the problem was as pe the babe dey very alright. Hair au naturiel, had on a beige number that flattered her shape, and showed the curves, and a friendly looking face,
then she Smiled....

What can i tell you? I've seen horror movies that didn't scare me half that much. As in i walked to the parking lot in a hazy daze, and i almost got knocked down. (Speaking of which Abbey where is my money? Ma je ki n display were fun e o. *Last Warning*).

That Dentition still makes me shudder. Come to think of it the babe had a ring on her finger. (Yes ke? I always look. Na crime?) So one Brave man marry, put am for house. My boy Kes asked "does she give him brain"? I was like Ode, Are you even grown enough to ask that question?

Kes you sef dey owe me money shebi? You have 2 weeks to make some cheddar off of that Wedding TV show or whatever the fookyou're calling that show of yours. My eye is shooking y'heard?