4:35pm

Still battling with the Flu. So, naturally i'm depressed. Loads of work to do and no motivation.
Still as broke as a plate. Something gotta give soon. Or else i'll do what i did back in '99.

No, i didn't rob a bank you Donut. I emptied my Bank account and wrote a check to my Church. Yep, yep. 7 days later i got the exact amount back. 3 days after that somebody i hadn't seen in years gave me 500 pounds. Yup, just like that. A few days, a few hundred quid and 2 pairs of shoes later i felt overwhelmed i actually cried. No, Not mumu crying like Naija home video o. Tears of joy at the sheer magnificence of God. Co-incidence? Warrever jo. It works for me sha all the time so na you know.

Went to the bank after Lunch. Traffic was unripe Bananas. Just sat there in the car listening to my old Jill Scott CD. (No, it's not Bootleg thank you very much. I paid 13:99 for that shiit).
An Okada broke the side mirror of the Car in front of me. The Silly Okada guy slowed down momentarily, showed the guy in the car his spread five fingers (Equivalent of giving him the finger if you be Ajebo.) then zoomed off in that zig zag way only a Lagos Bike man can pull off.
I changed lanes sharpish. The guy still had his mouth open as i passed him. *Let's take a long walk around the park after dark*

I got to the junction and the stupid traffic Cop was busy gisting with the Girl selling Puff Puff or Buns or wharrever. I mean he'd pass five cars,
stop,
gist with the girl,
then pass two cars,
smile at the girl with his dirty brown teeth,
girl smiles back
* find a spot for us to spark conversation, verbal elation, stimulation*
.... grease from the Puff puff evaporating in the hot sun adding to the worsening Global Warming Issue

Quarter of an hour in this mother, I'm thinking "Kunle park your damned whip, open up the bonnet like something done broke, get on an Okada, (pray to God your Car doesn't get nicked) get to the Bank sharpish, come back, smile at everybody and drive off".
I thought about getting out in that hot Sun...Man, i dropped the idea faster than Paul Robinson will drop a ball. Sorry Spuds i couldn't resist.

I finally get to Standard bloody Chartered. This gentleman was backing out of the parking lot i waited for him, indicated that i was going to park in his place, i was just generally being a nice law abiding guy. Jill Scott was on that "Maybe we can take a Cruise, and listen to the Roots, and eat some passion fruit shiit". Got me Reminiscing.
I don't know maybe i got carried away with the whole thing sha. The next thing one Were woman just parked in the space i had been patiently waiting for. I was like "nah, this Binsh didn't just do that". My mind told me to just chill make i no fight. I dey serious. E be like say na Holy Spirit talk to me sef. Nonsense! Why you come dey open eye now? Devil Pickin.

Anyway i sha went to park outside and did the long walk back into the Bank. I got to the Door and i swear this has to be the funniest thing i've seen this month.

Banks in Naija now have this Capsule like doors that allows only one person in at a time and is made of Transparent Bullet-proof glass. If you have any Metal objects on your person, it tells you to get your fat arse out. If you are clean, the outer door closes, you're in the Capsule for about two seconds while some yawn inducing music plays in the thing, then the inner door opens and you come out into the Banking hall.

Ok, Apparently this lady pushes the Button, gets in, the door glides shut, then some guy with Adidas Sneakers with a Nike Swoosh sign pushes the Button inside the Bank, then the Security guard outside pushes the button simultaneously outside the Bank.
Guess what? the bloody Door jams.
Guess who's trapped in the Closet. Yup! The Were Woman that "chanced" me out of my Parking space 5 minutes earlier. Buhahaha.

God forgive me. I didn't wanna do it, but i couldn't resist.
I didn't stick my tongue out for too long. hehehe. Just short quick flicks and Elephant ears just once.
I swear the woman grew a beard in there. lol. Ok maybe she had a beard before sha i'll never know hahahaha.

The Bank guys finally prised the door open after about 6 minutes of profuse sweating, and smelling her own farts.
Good thing she didn't come into the Bank. I think she just went back home. The Woman for so beat me ehn?



Got back into the VI Traffic Ms Scott suggests * Maybe we can just roll a tree, and feel the breeze and listen to the symphony*.......*Elevations, Maybe baby we can save a nation come on...come on*

Yeah.